Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
nutella sex= disaster
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize