I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
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Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
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As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.