Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.