So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
