in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
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Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
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Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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