I hope mine doesn't look like that
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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