I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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