if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize