There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
