Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Who did Billy Mays play for?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful