if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
was it more than 30 minutes?
then you're in a relationship
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
COCAINE IS GR8