she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.