I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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