I'm going to jail i love you
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.