Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner