real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back