Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim