A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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