but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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