If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
