Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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