saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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