listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
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It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
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for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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