I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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