That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
He has the fingertips of a God
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