Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
