just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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