How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
