you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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