the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize