remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
pop tarts are not kleenex
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
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