the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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