some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
