Swine flu. Run for my life!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize