I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
