Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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