Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis