i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.