He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize