He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
