So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
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You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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