Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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