walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
