You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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