video games are the ultimate cock blocker
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time