I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?