hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.