She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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