Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
