This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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