stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.