just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing