I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
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I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
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It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"