I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
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I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
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I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.