I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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