Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
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I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
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I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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