you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize