legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize