There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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