Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
