She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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