Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?