I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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